lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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