I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
