Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
