just come out here and I will go home with you...
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
