I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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