she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
