My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
