I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
whose ass print is on the piano?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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