would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize
