Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
