Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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