You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize