3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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