He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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