Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
