You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
