do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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