We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
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