bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
