And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
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Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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