There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize