Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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