Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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