YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Oh god it's open bar.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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