I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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