Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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