you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My butt remains clenched, sir.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
