Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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