is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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