We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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