look no pants
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
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