i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
