am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize