Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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