whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize