i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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