the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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