You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
