Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
