She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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