My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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