sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
