its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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