Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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