she woke up with a sticky ear
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
