Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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