I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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