I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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