No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize