He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
