Do you still have your period?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
