Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
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Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
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I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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