Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
