I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
