her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
