i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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