Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
