He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I think I sprained my soul last night
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
