when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
