Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
