Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
