This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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