no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
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Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
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"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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