hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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