is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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