Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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